|you make the rainclouds disappear
||[Mar. 12th, 2009|08:21 am]
that show with demetri martin isn't that great, I'd give it a C- but hey we're going to borrow his show's name for this post and call it important things with the idle lounge .
this is fat. good luck reading it. it's kind of like reading an article from a uc berkeley reader. ZZCOPY
So I as much as I would have liked to tell you in person but here are the important things update going on:
the graduate school of education at uc berkeley was a no go. As disappointed as I was, I completely understand the decision made. Well maybe not disappointed but more so let down as I had so much confidence getting in as I did worked so hard to heightened my chances to get in. It was saddening and depressing, and I may admit that I am not completely over it, but like a bad break up or upsetting climax to a favorite tv show or movie, I am in the process of moving on.
stanford was also a no go, but I had little to no disappointment to this decision as I had no real desire in ever attending. a) it would be kind of like being a traitor to cal b) logistic reasons and finally c) the program itself wasn't so appealing to me.
and so what are we left with? Well a few weeks ago I received an email that I had been invited to interview for the school of education at UC Davis. This was before hearing the news from the berk, so at the time I felt a little ambiguous about it, and even thought to myself "oh well if the good 'ol aggies want me surely berkeley will too give me the opportunity as well.. ching ching ching." So I went into the interview somewhat well, let's use the word again, ambiguously but of course gave it my all.
Are you still tuning in because this story is not even half way through.
i got to the interview which was to begin at 10:30 and arrived at about 10:00, being told to arrive 15 minutes early. So hey, how about 30 minute early suckas? yah like that? So I meet with this graduate of education adviser guy and he has me look at forms and stuff. He also gave me a list of questions that I would be asked by the math education professor guy. Oh man was that paper cluttered with oogles of notes. I have been answering these types of questions for the past 4 years. I think I've got it down to the bone. questions like:
1)why do you want to be a teacher?
2)what are some of the things you have witnessed in past experiences with tutoring/teaching that are evident of today's education status in our schools? how do you feel about them?
3)who are your biggest influences in terms of being a teacher?
4)what subject would you teach and how would you teach it? why?
5)what is your experience with teaching diverse students from low income communities?
2 e z. I mean it's like asking me about the 49ers, or my friend brian about computers or LOST or something. We can just go on and on. Steve Young yeah.
Though one question was asked, which wasn't on the pamphlet of prospective which I found really interested but nailed it down bad. like so bad it was good.
6)How do you think you having gone to community college and being able to move on to a school like UC Berkeley would make some of your students feel about their future with education?
I really liked this question. If you want to know my long ass response to this, ask me.
Well I got done prepping myself at about 10:20 and was ready to rock. And yes you guessed it, the interview did not start until 11 AM. I think they were still doing an interview with another candidate. I as like, sheesh, but of course I was all "Oh no problem, I'm in no hurry." You know, he could've said " yeah we just took a nap, and then started playing super smash brothers and lost track of time" and I would've said " oh no problem, I love that game!"
So the guy that came to get me for the interview was the head-math-education professor guy and I called him Dr. Smith (Not real name but keeping his name private), and went on to say "or do you prefer Professor Smith? Dr. Smith? Mr. Smith?" And he goes, "no just call me Rick." I laughed out loud with a " oh hahahaha okay Rick. I'll call you Rick."
So as we strolled to his office he says " well you know, this is a bit of an informal interview. We know all your technical stuff, this is basically an opportunity for us to get to know you. So think of it as like an informal discussion and just be yourself." Well i was a bit nervous before that, but when he told me that I was like " Oh really? that sounds good. Alright I can relax for a bit. My sweat is drying up. I'm ready to rock. Let's do this." And i think at that point a hyped myself up like how a boxer would you know the rigorous head shaking and thrusting of harms and slight jumping in place. picture that.
So we got in there and I sat down all upright and stuff, in the suit and all. And he goes again," so yeah like I told you, this is very informal so try to just respond in a way that let's us really to get to know you." and I go, "Oh yea? so i can relax. I can take off my blazer and take a load off." Here I proceeded to sit back and slouch on the chair. This was hilarious in my head but I couldn't laugh as hard at it as much as I really wanted to.
So we get crackin' and like I said earlier, the questions were almost second language to me and I responded, being sure to be myself. But hey, math education is a part of me and so I was certain myself was all there. And at the time, right after the interview, I felt pretty confident about, but then again I know how kind of awkward my personality could be so the only question was did the like "myself" ?
Dr. Smith was a great guy. I got to know more about the program, having knowing nothing much about it prior to the interview. And next thing you know I was really excited about what it's all about. I would be happy to work with Dr. Smith, and the program itself seems pretty damn solid and dope. yes solid and dope. And if it came down to it, this program would be a good choice.
After the interview I walked around the campus for a bit. And the campus sucks. I hated it. The bikes, the paved pathways that are just for bikes, the bikes, the GBC equivalent, the FSM equivalent, the modern buildings, the flatland, and the fact that I can't see the ocean from anywhere. and the bikes. I hate the campus.
But I suppose after an hour of browsing I can't make such a decision. But I recall back when I first walked on the campus of Berkeley. I felt nothing but awe and intimidation. For great schools, I think the campus should give off some sort of similar vibe. But no, I felt like leaving when walking around. I remember getting lost, since many buildings look actually the same, but found my way via bike path. I swear, I saw more bike riders in that hour than in all my time at the berk.
for those of you who currently attend or attended UC Davis, no offense, no wait screw it.. TAKE THAT. unless you can tell me something that I would be able to appreciate.
- okay now to the climax
Well a day after receiving the final word from the berk, i receive the final word from Davis and they had recommended me for admission. Those two days were a bit up and down and and down again. HOLD UP beofre we continue the story, i just saw walk by the window of peets coffee a dude carrying 4 loaves of bread in clear plastic breads and eating one of them. With a skate board in his other hand. tell me that guy didn't go to andronico's and go "YOINK" and skate off with loaves of bread.
so continuing, the day I received word from berk I was in a moment of complete in utter failure. I just had so much confidence due certain circumstances and theories, that I would get in. Getting that kind of letter, that.."we regret to inform you.." shin-dig is one of the worse feelings in the world. It's kind of like feeling so confident that a woman wants to have intercourse with you and you finally ask her, and she goes " I regret to inform you that you will not be admitted...." you know.. like that. I was in complete in utter failure because I was in the position of "what do I do now?" like last year. last year was drought. I wanted this year to be good, and that day just put me in shut down. How can i become a great teacher, if i can't get into a great program? I have convinced myself that the bad teachers of today lacked the exceptional preparation. Without this, I felt that I would just be on the road to becoming another bad teacher. I even concluded perhaps I'm not meant to be a teacher.
Next day, davis is like " hey, wassup? wanna join?" and imma like "what the?" because: well if the bears didn';t want me, why the heck would the aggies want me? I considered both programs with the same high caliber and expectations and standards and yes there are three "and"'s in this sentence so close to one another. So I was surprised but still..upset. I didn't feel a need, at the time to feel excited or overjoyed, or relieved. Well there was some relief there. but there it was. the " on behalf of the graduate school of Davis, we are pleased to inform you..."
that was last week. so here we are now. I'm pretty much about 75-80% sure i will commit to Davis. Reasons being that it is an awesome program, and well maybe it really is time for new change in my life. Perhaps Berkeley is done with me, and I with Berkeley though I've been in denial for quite some time now. And maybe it is for the better. Change is always a thing we can't help.
Okay yeah there's not much difference in terms of distance between living in berkeley and living in Davis, nothing but that good hour or so drive. and I'm pretty much insulting others who have made greater, more impacting changes for the sake of their future. But berkeley has been great to me, the city, the college, the people. so tell me off, tell me i'm going to be fine out there, tell me this ain't shit, tell me i'm soo good looking it hurts.
so I'm getting ready for the hard goodbyes. There are those of you I won't see for a while, and probably those I won't see ever again. but hey, let's leave those messages for another time and another place.
I've got more to say but I need to use the bathroom. let's call this part 1. We'll get to part 2. later-
fact of the day: Croissants are the best non-sweet breakfast pastry of all time. Bagels? pfft. more like...doughnuts gone in the wrong direction.