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sentiments [Apr. 30th, 2009|05:03 am]
[mood |blahblah]
[music |jason mraz]

it's may- wow. Where did my spring go? where did my april go? idle loungin' is running out of time.

Going off of aimee's recent post about teaching, i enjoyed your post so much i wanted to tell my own stories.

let me take a moment to talk about my current job in which i have so much to say. I'm still deciding whether or not to make this private and only to my livejournal.com friends. but then again, i think it's okay so long as i keep certain things classified. so disclaimer: any names mentioned are not real names whatsoever and have been altered for the purpose of indisclosure-nnment.(?)

anyway i currently teach language arts and mathematics. Language arts you ask? Ryan you're terrible at language arts. Well in the end, any college graduate (or anyone that paid attention in their english classes) has the ability to teach english. we speak it everyday and when reminded of the basic principles, it's easy, with patience, to teach. We're talking what's a synonym vs. antonym, predicting what will happen in a story based on the context, figuring out definitions of words using the context, stuff like that. All these abilities are almost developed by nature. I suppose it's our job to point out to students that these are there and that they can all do it.

So on to mathematics. I discovering more and more how much mathematics I actually know. I think to truly know something, or learn something, is to try and teach it to someone else. I think I've said that before but this concept has repeatedly bit me off the ass almost everyday I teach. I know I may sound like I'm blowing fire up my ass but it's amazing how much mathematics I am able to teach. And I've said it before, math has become something I love teaching more than actually doing.

And in previous application essays and whatnot expressing my interest in teaching mathematics, that is all bullcrap compared to what i've experienced in the recent months. Meaning, I did have a profound interest to teach math, but now I think that interest has become so much more real ever since starting to teach here.

It is here I have had a true opportunity to work an extremely diverse set of students. The youngest I've taught being 5 years old to senior's in high school. We have our really smart kids, kids that actually need the teaching, kids that have apathy for learning, trouble makers, privileged kids, white, black, latin, asian, etc etc.

I've never felt so exposed as an instructor.

Out of the students i've had I've only really had one trouble student that i absolutely could not work with. though that story is a bit graphic, not in the physical sense, but I'll withhold it for the time being.

the thing i like about this teaching experience is that about 90 percent of the students are there because they do really want to learn and do well academically. many of them have their good days and bad days, lazy days and hard-effort days, ultimately they are all there because they care enough to do well.

at the end of each day i only hope i did not let down those who have this desire. gee i hope that student really understood what you can do with the midpoint formula. or dang i hope that kid understood what i meant by "ratios only work when you're told they're consistent" and that the "cross multiplication algorithm" is the key to any proportion problem.

there have been a few days where i had felt i didn't do a good job. these are my bad days. these are the days i hate and i only wonder for the rest of my night what i could've done to make it better for the student.

i really do want to help people. i don't want to let people down. though i'm only referring to those who actually care about their education. i have no time whatsoever for any other kind of student. though there shouldn't be any other kind of student.

but the odd thing is, i still feel a certain sense of uncertainty about doing. will work things out.

fact of the day: leonardo divinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

need sleep. was almost late for work yesterday.